Progress

Lately I've discovered I am an emotional eater...by that, I mean I eat....everything....a lot. I never thought I was before but as I've gone down this road I have become more aware of this problem. For no reason, I will just stand in the kitchen...looking in the fridge, browsing the pantry, just looking for something that catches my eye. There have been times where I am having a bad day and I find myself in the freakin' dessert aisle picking out something delicious. The other day, after some frustrating school issues, I went to Publix and got Tiramisu. It's not huge but it's defintely NOT for one. I came home and sat down and one bite turned into four, then half the cake was gone...paying no mind, I am embarrassed to say, I ate the whole f@#king cake :/

I don't know why I did and felt disgusting the rest of the night...

I told my bestie about this last night on the phone and was so embarrassed to admit this. Even so, I felt compelled to put it here...I guess to be accountable but also for some of you who may have this issue too....

Why do we do this? Why do I do this? I can't answer that...I'm waiting for one of those "biggest loser" moments where everything is just so clear......
"so this is why I'm fat"
I don't know if that day will ever come...till then I am trying to stay on track. I put aside what happened yesterday and focus on today. I'm trying to listen more to myself when I feel that urge coming on to eat crap!

That inner fat girl screams out at me! Sometimes I give in, most times I tell her to shut the hell up! For me, knowing that I have a voice....that I have the strength to stop myself...I guess that's all I can ask for....progress.....