It's been a while......

October was a month from hell, weight loss wise.....I had 1 wedding, 1 birthday, 1 holiday & a husband gone for a week.....whew! To say it was busy is an understatement.......so Nov.1st came and left me with no motivation, no want to be back in the gym, no desire to eat anything but halloween candy & a gain of 4lbs.

November 1st has special meaning to me. It was 6 days after baby #3....I was tired, sore & feeling like a cow (gotta love breastfeeding) but it was also the day I had decided to start this damn thing....to make myself into the person I had always wanted to be. I told myself that I would get fit if it was the last thing I ever did. At the time I couldn't work out (still wouldn't have c-section clearance till 8wks post-partum) but I could still eat better and do as much as I could to keep moving.....so that's just what I did.

So 2 years later, I am here and just not feeling it. I don't know if my motivation just left but I just don't have the desire anymore. It's probably a combination of a bunch of things...it's staying out of the gym for so long,  it's all the crap I've been eating lately, it's that feeling of "I just am so tired of dieting", it's annoying that most of my gym clothes don't fit so I'm not comfortable out in them, it's also probably the fact that I feel good at my current weight. Happy with the fact I can buy a 10/12 off the rack and look good. I even messaged my trainer and as much as she told me all that I needed to hear, I still just don't feel it. So what does that mean for me & my journey? Nothing really because I'm not stopping....I'm not going to quit, that's just not who I am...it means that I will just have to find something else that motivates me. So as much as I didn't feel like it, I made my ass go to Step on Wednesday am and I felt good! It was nice to get back into the gym. I also bought some new gym clothes and a new pair of skinny jeans. Having clothes that fit always make me feel better. I will be getting my training schedule in order this weekend and starting fresh with Attack on Sunday. I am also attempting the "clean eating". I'm still not sure about it but I've been pinning things like crazy!

So I apologize for being away but it was a long month.....I'm back though and will be pushing harder than ever because I'm worth it....worth it to keep going & reach my end goal.

Nov. 1st 2011 / Present