Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Fat Tuesday!

2001, the year I graduated high school. I never thought I was fat in high school. I knew I was bigger than my friends but I had a really confident additude. I wore bikini's (looking back that was def a bad idea), I had a ton of friends...I wasn't ashamed of myself...I actually thought I was pretty cute ;)
  Until I came across this photo. This was taken at my mom's wedding April 2001. I remember that day feeling so cute in my outfit, thinking I pulled off a good look. Surprise!!! No you didn't Morgan. Looking back at this I am disgusted with how I look & even more with myself knowing that I let myself get that big & I didn't even notice. I've even asked people in my life now, Why didn't you tell me I was that fat? Most people say they didn't know or realize it till now...in my heart I know it's because they loved me too much too hurt me. I need that though, the tough love is good for me...even now when I need a little bit of "Bitch Please!" I turn to certain people that I know will give it to me.
I have a past, just like everyone...my parents were divorced when I was young. I've dealt with sexual abuse & I've seen & experienced things that no other child should. Maybe some of that has contributed to my weight gain? I'm not sure, what I do know is that I won't go back there. I won't be the fat chick with the pretty face again. I'm not even the same person I was back then. I have a new outlook on life & how I want to live it. That person in the picture doesn't exist. That fat & unhappy person is gone because I made a change. You can too!
I made this monumental change, took that fork in the road that has lead me to this great life with wonderful people that I can count on. And looking back, all those bad things in my life made me choose this course and I am happy where I am today and for that, I wouldn't change any of it.
Stay Strong.Work Hard.
You will get there.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry for what you must have gone through in your life so far. You are right, no one should have to go through that.

    You can do this! You can make the changes you want. Keep up all the great work!