Monday, April 7, 2014

Coming Clean

8 months after having baby # 2, I developed a condition called Bells Palsy. It can be brought on by many things and is something that a lot of pregnant women get because of the stress. If your not familiar, it's where your face droops on one side, sorta like my nerve caught a cold...anywho, it went away pretty much but I've always had some nerve pain in my face and some stiffness. I went to my doctor in the spring of last year...a checkup for my bells and to ask for advice on what I could do about my that point I had hit a 5 month long plateau. She suggested a couple things, asked what I was doing and then mentioned a evil pill now looking the time it sounded like a solution for everything. It was an appetite suppresant that affected the nervous system so in controlling and suppressing my appetite, it would also help with my nerve pain and stiffness. It sounded like heaven. So she gave me a 30 day prescription and I was on my way. I took one a day for the 30 days and then refilled from April - October 3 times. Not only did I lose 21lbs but no more pain in my face...I was feeling great and when I woke up the day of my sisters vow renewal and saw 169.8lbs I was ecstatic! I've never been that low. I had been eating the right things and working out and all that work finally paid off.

I never took another pill and continued on my path....then came the holidays & now 6 months later, back are those 20lbs. 

I'm so annoyed and more so, mad at myself for believing I was doing the right thing. I've never claimed to eat clean or said that I've lost the weight without whole life I've tried whatever it would take to get me to lose the weight. Looking back, I've figured out my downfall...I wasn't eating right...I wasn't eating enough and that caused my body to shut down. My metabolism is just dead...and I don't know what to do to fix it. The major downfall? Thinking that some pill would be magic and help me get down to my ideal here I am today...back up to the weight that I was stuck at and I'm stuck again. I'm hoping to get my body & my mind back on the losing side of things...and I'm sure it's gonna take a while...and that's okay. It's a forever journey I'm on, not just a few weeks or months or even years...forever. So I'm trying to get a forever mind frame and do this right. It sucks feeling like the heavy chick again, to get tired during classes that had become easier for not have the same energy, or drive...and that's from a lot of things I've been doing and I can't blame it all on that stupid pill....I haven't taken it since October, but I think a lot of thes stuff I'm dealing with is a result of all that it did to my body, which is nothing good. I hope that this helps maybe some of you out there that are trying easy fixes. There is nothing easy about getting healthy and anything that seems like it's too good to be true, it probably is. I learned that the hard way....but it's not stopping me, I may have been pushed back a bit but I'm still moving forward.....and coming clean with you & myself is just another step forward.


  1. This is very brave of you to post about Morgan, but don't worry we have all been down this road and you WILL find success! You can do this, one day at a time!

  2. Very brave post and very true! You can do this. Unfortunately the only way I know of to increase your metabolism is to slowly increase your calories. If you increase by say 100 a week you might see a small gain at first, but then it will level out and it's time to increase again. It might mean a little more gain, but if that means not starving yourself to lose weight in the end, it might be worth it.

  3. I agree, this is a very brave post! I would recommend reading the Fast Metabolism Diet book. I first saw it on Wendy's ( blog. I read it, and it absolutely struck home for me about how much I screwed up my metabolism. I've followed the "diet" for 5 weeks and I lost 14 pounds. I'm still following a modified version of the diet now....and I think it made all of the difference. It isn't a magic cure - but I think it had a major impact on my eating and restarting my weight loss.

    1. Thanks for this! I'm going to check it out!

  4. You are so generous to come clean like that, Morgan.

    Hey, we are all human; that was the very topic of my post this morning too, actually! But we find strength in each other.

    My metabolism is pretty shot too. I'm in my 60's and have yo-yo dieted my entire life. So being over 60, yo-yo history, post menopause, I have NO metabolism to speak of. I have to stay at 1200 calories; a hair over, I gain. Despite a consistent 45 minutes of exercise a day. I hope you can break the chain now, while you are still young, and the damage can be reversed for you. Just try to eat all of the protein, animal fats (YES, animal fats) and veggies that you can. Go light on fruit, and dairy (if you can even tolerate dairy.) Do your very best to eat no grains or junk food. Healthy real foods, and regular exercise, will bring back your metabolism as best you can. And don't forget to aim for 8 hours sleep, but get at least 6 in. It restores. :)